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A "Bull" Story - Chapter 2 - *Conclusion*

Okay, I had to share this story, it is hilarious. Deb Morgan, of Ancient Oaks Sport Horses, sent it to me. It's about her and her husband, and their bull.. [b]It's funny how God sometimes has to slap us up the side of the head with a 2 x 4 in order to get us off top dead center, even to do things we KNOW need to be done. A few days ago we awoke to find our miniature bull gone. Gone, vaporized... We are bordered on the east by about a 40 acre 'brush pile' of land that was timbered at some point and then abandoned, rough country, difficult to even walk thru, and the fence is now so overgrown with vines, etc, that only the smallest of critters could penetrate...On the south by a good friend with cattle, fence is 'ok' and we've not ever had a problem. We are back into our farm about 1/2 mile, completely hidden behind a locked gate, with perimeter fencing all around, not all great, but hardly a problem in the past. The west side is a creek, with fencing on the far side that is electric, with the neighbor’s 300 acres bordering us..It has cattle on it, but rarely seen due to the size of the place. Our north side is the same farm, but across a huge gully and more barb and hot wire.. Safe, secure, secluded...right... The pasture "Earnest Tubb", the mini Jersey bull was in, was bordered on the east by the scrubby 40 acres, on the south by our friend's place, on the west by our house and yard, and on the north by our other pasture crossed with three very very hot wires. His 'girls' were there, easy to see and talk to..The filly and steer were in with him. But he's gone, tho. Totally. Seriously. It’s not a mistake. My husband, Kay, called our friend, the most logical place since he had cows in sight, across the fence, altho no sign of fence trouble was found. No, he wasn't there. So Kay walked that adjacent 40 acres of misery, for hours.. no sign, no tracks, no cow plops.. Called the neighbor with the 300 acres. He hadn't seen him. But he offered to let us ride the land to look. He has about 30 Brangus cows and a bull. And A LOT of land. Good idea! Except neither of us had ridden in over a year..I was sore just thinking about it. So we gathered up the girls, who didn’t seem all that thrilled about the sight of the tack coming out of the barn, kinda green and slimy looking. We got saddled up and went hunting. Our horses were the old broodmares, and one hadn't been ridden in 6 years and was only greenbroke. We had to cross the creek, ride some pretty steep hills for quite while, and about a mile into the ride, we found the bull with the other cows. What a relief! He DID look a bit silly, a tad over 3’ tall, amidst the herd of towering black Brangus, and wearing a halter no less... Now we had to decide how to get him, and once we get him, how to get him OUT and back home... We tried to cut him out of the herd, after all, they do it on t.v. all the time, and Kay WAS raised on a huge cattle ranch... But, for some reason, all we succeeded in doing was to scatter those darn Brangus like chickens. It was hot, mid day, and we were fast getting no where.. At one point on the crest of a hill, I got a glimpse of a disappearing AK on a grey mare, running backwards down the hill, in circles, with a black cow chasing THEM..Wow, I thought, that mare is so athletic! Finally they're appeared, the mare wild eyed, and Kay still in the saddle somehow. At 73 yrs old, he could still stay stuck! My ‘mount’ was our dressage mare, hardly cow working material, but she's broke to death and was kind to me..however, she was not neck reined. Realized how important that was on one of my bonzai gallops into the herd, and attempted a left turn one handed (the other hand firmly on the saddle horn OF COURSE). Let’s see, left hand left pulls reins over neck to left but pulls right rein at same time on dressage trained horse, horse turns RIGHT! straight DOWN the hill... geez. Add that these cows had never been worked by horses. Needless to say, it was a futile task. Everyone was slobbering, sweating, and heaving so we quit. Rode back to the house (with the bull, I’m sure, snickering under his breath) and put up the horses. Don’t know who was more relieved. We decided to get the golf cart (actually modified for a farm vehicle), a can of grain, a feed tub, a lead rope and the lariet off the saddle. Had to drive all the way around on the highway to get to the pasture as the creek is too steep for a vehicle. It took 30 mn just to get to where the bull was. Found the cows again, the bull (he's only 40" tall and looks like a calf compared to them) was with two cows, off alone. The owner of the land had come by on his 4 wheeler and I got the distinct impression that he wasn't going to miss this for anything. Them 'outsiders' were going to catch their bull and ....do what? Heh heh...Earnest had a halter on, but you couldn't call him broke to lead. He is gentle but NOT broke to lead...Did I mention he wasn't broke to lead? I approached him on foot, praying that the two giant Brangus cows with him were in a good mood.. I showed him the grain, put down his dish and poured it in. Kay's plan was to sneak up and snap on the lead rope while he munched. Viola!..it worked..Ok. now we have a bull who doesn’t lead on a lead rope 1 1/2 miles from home. And a golf cart. The farmer sat on his four wheeler. I wish I could have read his mind. Earnest stood there and looked at us. And blinked. I looked at Kay. And blinked. We all just stood there. Finally Kay got into the cart, and dallied the rope around the side of the dump bed. And began to drive away. The firecracker went off. Earnest was not happy. He took off and hit the end of the rope, and being a small guy, it spun him around and he slipped to his knees. Now he was embarrassed..The cows looked on. The farmer looked on..Kay hollered to me to jump in as he flew past in the cart. More for the extra ballast, I suspect, rather than out of concern for me. Poor Earnest was yanking and jerk ing his head, trying to drop to his knees, running past the cart, spinning around...Then he'd quit. And dig in. We drug him awhile like that until we hit a steep hill. The cart ground to a halt, tires spinning. The farmer offered to come up behind and urge Earnest onward, saving me from walking behind for a mile and a half. It worked, he went forward, wayyy forward..past the cart, hit the end of the rope again, spun around...This went on for about a mile..up and down the hills, and along the creek. We decided to go the creek route, and cross it at our property, rather than the road..Didn't want turned into the humane society for dragging a bull behind a cart. We got to the creek, the farmer waved to us as he drove off, I'm sure planning on a big tale to tell in church the next day. By then Earnest is really pooped and willing to follow a bit. Across the creek we got. Tied him to a tree so we could figure out how to get the cart across. Didn't I say that the creek was too steep for a vehicle? Kay decided it got less steep while we were out. No, it was still too steep. Now we have the cart stuck in the creek, a bull tied to a tree, and about 1/2 mile to the barn and house. Boy it was hot..and we were noticing that we were covered with ticks... Decided to walk with the bull to the barn, up our drive, which is actually a mountain type roadway of rocks, gravel, potholes, and a grade of about 8 degrees..Kay led the bull,I followed behind..Earnest did ok for a bit, then realized the barn was up ahead and he decided he could probably get there quicker than we could. So he quit being led and started that running ahead stuff, with only Kay on the end of the lead rope, no cart. But he was so tired, Kay was able to turn him. After about three tries, he fell in behind Kay and walked quietly.. We kept him in that night, to make sure he was ok. The next day we had to get him to a paddock by the house (no more big pasture, as we still had no clue how he got out and got where he was found). The real test came..would he lead? Kay snapped on the lead, opened the stall door, and Earnest looked out at the world. He walked out, stopped, and then followed Kay to the paddock, about 500 yards away, like a gentleman. Since then he has been able to be caught, petted, comes when you bang the grain tub, a changed bull. Moral to the story, we needed desperately to break him to lead, had talked about it for months. It just wasn't safe or convenient to have him unmanageable. But never made the effort...It took a near disaster (for us, he's a rather valuable animal) to 'make' us get a job done, to do something that needed done... It's like that in life too I think.It's so much easier to just get along, especially if things are pleasant, than to go outside the box. Sometimes I think it takes something serious to happen to get the message across. Oh, and the cart? We had to get the tractor and go back and haul it out...The creek is too steep for vehicles... D[/b]

Daylene Alford Sat, 06/05/2010 - 15:38

That is histerical. I'd love to email it to a few people would she mind?

Danni Sun, 06/06/2010 - 18:26

LOL, that really made me laugh. Made my morning!!! Yep I reckon we need picture of said bull!!

Maigray Sat, 10/23/2010 - 22:38

Second Chapter..

Earnest Tubb is our miniature Jersey bull. He can be a bit loony at times, but he's a handsome devil and an awesome producer. Anyway, how much trouble can a little 800 lb bull be?

Earnest can be a bit discontented at times. He's 'left home' 10 times in the last few months, one time he's gone 'north', and was the subject of 'bull story chapter 1'...9 of those times he's gone to our southern neighbor, John's. John has 11 acres only, Angus cows, and a 2000 lb Angus bull, Lucky. Lucky and Earnest were friends of sorts, and one could occasionally find them licking each other's heads over the fence (oh gross). I suspect Lucky felt sorry for little Earnest, as he wears a halter, as in what 'real bull' wears a halter?

Anyway, Earnest seemed to enjoy their company, so would violate the ragged 'southern style' fence between us to be with this herd. So John would coax him into the barn, and we would go down the county road in our farm's golf cart, walk into John's barn, snap the lead on Earnest's halter, and lead him home behind the cart. After so many times one could imagine what the neighbors must have thought of those loopy people humming down the county road leading a little Jersey bull..behind a golf cart..9 times..

We finally decided to put him out with the cow girls in the big pasture. Our 'girls' are Emmy Lou and Dolly, the 'big' Jerseys. Both were now bred and would be good company for him. All was peaceful again at Ancient Oaks.

For two minutes.

Last week AK comes in from milking and says 'Earnest didn't come down with the girls this morning'..

Brilliantly, I respond 'Are you SURE?'...

You know men, they can't find the ketchup in the fridge...There was NO WAY Earnest could be gone again..

No Earnest. Check at John's, no Earnest. Glumly, we realize he must have gotten into the neighbor's to the north...300 acres of wilderness, and 40 head of scruffy Brangus, most with a blind eye or two from rampant pinkeye..Great...

Ok, no problem..Instead of saddling up the horse girls, we decide to skip that step (as found in 'bull story chapter 1,' that didn't work very well) and take the cart over with the feed tub, and grain, and we'll just catch him right off and lead him home AGAIN..

So we gather up our stuff..the bb gun (???), feed tub, grain, lead rope, gloves, head down the county road to the pasture road and head into that 300 acre wilderness. We bounced and trounced for about 30 minutes and finally spied him and his new friends at the bottom of the hill we were on..Super!

I was waving 'Hi Earnest! we're here with your grain!' (I imagined him thinking 'idiot woman'). Down the hill we went, oh geez, it's steeper than I liked! I had to grab onto the seat bar to keep inside, a glance to AK driving revealed an expression I'd rather have missed...brakes???? Halfway down this monster hill I see Earnest get up, shake his head, speak to his neighbor, and suddenly trot off! Did I mention that Earnest is a lovely mover??

'Earnest, come back! we've got your grain!'. I'm now waving frantically. He trots faster (near dead level actually), now about 20 cows are milling about and joining him...We finally screech to a stop (just prior to a big cedar tree), yank a hard left and head off along the tree line trying to get ahead of him to stop him and SHOW HIM THE GRAIN..

We are both holding on now, it's so rough, rocks everywhere, ruts, cow crap, the big tires making the cart a kind of trampoline...20 or so more cows are now joined up, up the hill they go, they are FASTER than we are...Earnest is determined and just doesn't seem to understand what we are trying to do..I'm trying to keep all the stuff in the cart while AK desperately tries to steer over this 'terrain' without tipping us over...

I then hollar over the rumble and roar and dust of it all 'do we have enough gas?'....No answer..well, maybe his hearing aids are off or something...Finally get to the top of the hill...Cows are settling down a bit...AK says 'ok, Deb, YOU get out with the feed tub and grain, he likes you best, and when you get a rope on his halter I'll come on over and we can dally him to the cart '

HUH? WTH??? Suddenly I find myself walking carefully thru a herd of suspicious cows, using my best 'cow whisperer' techniques...

'Earnest, come hear fella..here's your feed bucket'...Earnest will NOT look at me. He walks away. He mounts a cow (she looked at him with amusement as he's about 8 inches shorter than she is)...He will NOT look at me..I am now slipping and sliding and slopping through piles of fresh cow poop, and am getting discouraged..AK is doing a fabulous job of 'holding the herd' whilst sitting in the cart. About 100 yards away....I'm nearly lost in the middle of these big, black cows...for 30 minutes I try...It's not working....I never got within 20 feet of that little ######....

We decide to head home to mull this...

Suddenly we had a FABULOUS plan! We'd call an old friend who is a cutting horse man..He'd been a major champion in the field, had trained horses, and he was only about an hour away! He'd help us!

Well, after a looooonng pause (right after the explanation about the 'miniature jersey' part) he agreed to help..Great!

Hurrying to the county road with our plan settled, we are on the pavement and moving fast towards home..suddenly ....SPLAT.....SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT... I DUCK, I throw my arms up, AK ducks.. SPLAT...I yell STOP!!!...It seems that all the nice, fresh, green cow poop that was all over the big , knobby tires, was now being flung at us, it was on our pant legs, on the seat, the sides, our arms, faces.........We had to slow to a crawl to keep the stuff out of the cart....It was NOT a pretty sight...Rotten little bull...

Five days later, Thursday came and Chad and Nathan rumbled in with their cow horses saddled and ready in the trailer..Wow..This was going to be GREAT! And they were so authentic, too. BIG clanking spurs, ten gallon hats, real scruffy cowboy boots with cow poop on them, Nathan's belt buckle so big he couldn't bend over...Ropes coiled on the saddles...Buckskin and paint horses...Wow... China Doll was in the barn and she was SO excited when she saw them...She couldn't wait to show off! And she made those nice horses look so PLAIN....

We decided to chow down on our BBQ first, as it was noon and we didn't want to eat too much later, even tho this wasn't going to take that long..It was GOOD!

Back to the barn, unload the horses, AK saddles up China Doll ( I think the cow horses were Sam and Buck or something like that). I gathered up all my necessities, my camera (I wasn't going to miss THIS opportunity for ANYTHING!) and checked for a battery (old persons disease can cause problems here), my lead rope to bring Earnest home with, the bb gun(???) and jumped into the cart.

"Don't do ANYTHING with him, guys, until I get there! I don't want to miss a THING!" They could go directly over across the creek (the one AK got the cart stuck in per 'bull story chapter 1') but I had to drive around on the county road..I hoped they would wait for any action until I got there!

I finally got down to the creek side after bouncing and trouncing down the hills trying to go fast but so as not to loose all my stuff out the sides...I found them coming along the creek, and took that picture of the three of them heading to me. I thought, this is SO cool and authentically 'round up' looking! This is going to be SUCH FUN!

So off we head to find the herd...So off we head....to find the herd...We searched for the herd...and we searched...and searched...Found a couple of cows here and there...Up and down those incredible hills, some so steep I had to drive AROUND to get to the tops, every time I had to do that I was sick about maybe missing something!...Finally we split up, each in a different compass point..Nothing...

I came to a high ridge and suddenly saw Nathan driving a small group up from the draw towards me..I was so enchanted by the scene, the man on the buckskin horse, black floppy hat, rope at his side, cattle walking quietly ahead of him, I forgot to TAKE A PICTURE OF IT!...Stupid woman..And there, in the lead is little Earnest..They finally settled at the ridge top, and soon are joined by more rangy, half blind cows that appear from no where...I am ready with the camera...AK and China will keep the herd held, Chad and Nathan will just cut Earnest out, will get him roped, lead him to me where I will snap on the lead, and I'll lead him home with the cart..What could be simpler?

Earnest saw the whole thing unfold in his mind. He wasn't too keen on it, apparently, because suddenly he turned and bolted...southward..STRAIGHT FOR HOME..two miles away, but homeward...Chad and Nathan tear after him...AK and China taking up the rear (????).

I hit the gas, oh my gosh I'm going to miss something! I've now got the camera around my neck and it's bouncing so hard on my chest that I KNOW I am bruising....careening off of the side of the hills, I am trying so hard to keep up...

China is flying down the hill, ears back, tail flagged, AK is trying to keep her back aways (what can THEY do????) and the Quarter Horses are on Earnest's tail..He darts and dodges which is so cool to watch a 'range steer' I'm sure, but THIS is a JERSEY BULL...It's all rather surreal...

DOWN the hills they go, I'm pulling up the rear desperately trying to steer, stay in the cart while it bounds 3 or 4 ' in the air (well, it FELT like that!), keep the stuff inside, miss the gopher holes and rocks I could see, and keep track of where they had disappeared to...All I could see at one point was flashes of horseflesh, and China's tail...a crash or two as they hit the bottom land and crisscross the creek..Earnest is still heading south at breakneck speed...Through the tree lines...Chad tries to get alongside, starts swinging that rope, his horse is a bit green still (what happened to those 'broke' horses he has??), spies the rope over his head and darts away from it..Good thing Chad can ride...

Earnest is still running free for home...Chad hollars to Nathan to cut him off across the creek. Thru the brush and trees, Nathan darts across, AK doesn't seem to be hurrying China all that much now (?), and I can't get the cart steady enough to get a picture of all this..Dammit...Finally we reach a nine acre meadow that our good neighbor had fenced off for us to keep the horse girls on, just encircled with plain hot wire...Earnest darts across the creek again, he can SMELL HOME...But he's stuck now against a woven wire fence!

Chad yells at Nathan to get around, he'll get in behind and get a rope on him! Tells me to open the wire gates into the nine acres (our three other mares are now running down the hill to see what the fracas is all about!). AK stands aside trying to keep China from getting in the middle of it! AK then jumps off and gets the wire gates open and throws them aside...He yells at me to come hold China so he can cross the creek and head off the bull, to turn him back so Chad can either rope him or drive him to thru the opening in the meadow!

I jump out and run to the mare...AK is across the creek taking down a small tape gate that we use to get in and out of the meadow, as it joins our place at the creek. We are almost home! I am holding China with one hand, at the end of about two miles of split rein, the three horse girls are now down near me, whirling and spinning and snorting at the commotion across the creek!

Nathan is in the brambles, Earnest is backing out! Chad is ready to rope him....Suddenly Earnest crashes thru into the pasture along the meadow and the horse girls LEAP into the air, spin and charge away! China says 'I'M LEAVING!"...I'm so busy trying to get my camera ready for the action I pay her no mind! She whirls, her butt SLAMS into mine, and I find myself in slow motion, flying like a birdie through the air...and then, all 175 lbs of me hits chin first, Newton's law takes over, you know the object in space keeps moving until resistance theory??? My chin, dirt and rocks, then the chest hits, with the camera between me and the ground..Grunt...

Good thing everyone else is so busy, no one saw this. I struggle up...Check my poor camera...I see multiple scenes simultaneously (like three NFL games on the screen at once). In front of me Chad galloping up the fence line behind Earnest, who is running thru every fence in sight, Nathan trying to extricate himself from the brambles, AK trying to stumble across the creek, China flying up the hill, reins whipping behind her, the horse girlies way ahead, wild eyed that a 'thing' is now chasing them....

Suddenly, all but AK are gone..And it's quiet...He puffs over to me, I'm limping..He says are you ok? What happened...How the ###### do I know????? We look up the steep hill where all have disappeared..Quiet...THEN suddenly, a buckskin horse appears on the horizon at the top, RIDERLESS! OMG! Now there are TWO riderless horses running along the hilltop, along with three wild eyed mares. Earnest now appears behind the crew, with Chad chasing behind, and we're at the bottom, helpless.

I scream at AK, get the cart! Get the gelding caught! Nathan must have been thrown! But no, Nathan wasn't thrown! He had dismounted to cross a downed wire, was leading the gelding across, the wire popped up slightly, IT WAS STILL HOT, zapped the gelding, he jumped sideways, wrapped the wire around his leg, it's zapping him still, Nathan runs to him to try and help. Gets his spurs tangled in the wire, has to turn the horse loose, and get out of the wire before it zaps HIM......And so the gelding takes off, reins a flying!

Ao up the hill AK goes while I try to check and see if all my parts are still working...He manages to calm the buckskin, catch him, and disappears over the hill with him behind the cart...Suddenly DOWN the hill to my left comes the bull, the mares scatter! The fence is down all around us, gates open, Chad is close behind the bull, I get into position and get the only three pictures of Chad trying to rope the little monster...He misses three times...

They're heading straight for me, Nathan is coming down the other side of the hill. I have a chance to haze the bull across the creek onto our property and maybe he'll head for home...I step in front (brilliant, right??)...It works! He runs across the creek...and into the woods. Chad follows, zig, zag, dodge and dart, Nathan arrives, I yell at him to go thataway!..He says 'thank you ma'am' (HUH?)...

Up the gravel drive he's clattering on the loose rocks. They disappear into the woods, and I hear Chad yelling 'Over here Nathan!' Get behind him, over there!'....

Kay is coming down the hill with an improvised rope haltery thingy on China, the bridle having been ripped off...All the fences are down...We have to leave the cart and head to the barn on foot with the mare. We can only hope that the girls will stay put...

Huffing and puffing we finally get to the barn and house area..I tie the mare to a post...Chad and Nathan are on up by the house at the fence line we share with John, and poor Earnest is up against it, trapped for a moment...Chad dismounts and tries to get a rope on him. Earnest bolts and jumps the fence into Johns..CRAP.

Poor AK, with his asthma, is still trying to make it up the hill..China is whirling and bellowing at the post.. I feel like I'm in the middle of a bad movie...so close and yet so not done! Now we have to cut the fence wire to get into John's...Now it'll be easy..He's only got 11 acres and just a few cows and Lucky..

However, it soon it is apparent they are all loco..They scatter like chickens..Earnest bolts again..to the woods. Chad has him trapped, yells at Nathan, Earnest gets away...Runs to the barn and into the corral...Chad rides in to the corral and ropes Earnest..Wow...And I missed it..Not that there was much to miss. To go thru all this just to see a little bull roped AFTER he's in the corral is a bit anticlimactic....But I'm out in the pasture trying to calm John's cows down so couldn't get TO the corral....He would be SOOO mad if he knew how 'upset' his stupid cows were right now...

So out comes Chad with poor Earnest, the rope around his neck. He's yanking and jerking, not leading well at all...We get back to our fenceline...and Earnest just lays down..plop...won't get up...So Nathan goes over, and I tell him to put the rope on his halter, get it off his neck..

Poor guy...We have to drag Earnest about 10 feet before he'll get up...Finally get him to cross the fence, thru my garden and blueberry patch, behind the house and to the barn..I put a halter rope on him and take him into a stall and he promptly collapses...

As do we all.....It's been three and half hours...It just didn't go quite the way we had planned... On the way out, Chad stops by our pond where our little piglets are...I jokingly say, hey, you ought to take one home!...He jumps out of his truck, leaps over the gate, grabs one of them, it's squealing like a mashed pig, gets back into the truck (poor Nathan, you can't imagine the expression on his face) puts the piglet on his lap, smiles at me and as they are driving out of the gate, holds up a piglet foot and waves 'bye bye' out the open window...............

Earnest is on Craigslist and I've reduced his price considerably...He's really a nice bull....If anyone is interested..